BristolCon 2018 Caption Contest


Enter this caption contest to win one of five signed/dedicated copies of Road Brothers


You can submit your entry to any number of pictures, so can caption one, two, three, four or all five of them, just please indicate which picture your caption belongs to (1-5).

Please submit your entry here through the comment field at the bottom of this page.

The contest will be closing on Monday, 5th November 2018.

The five winners will be selected by Mark Lawrence, Laura Hughes and Agnes Meszaros.

This is an international competition, anyone can enter.


Photo #1 (Mark Lawrence, Laura Hughes)


Photo #2 (Mark Lawrence, Laura Hughes)


Photo #3 (Mark Lawrence, Laura Hughes, T.O. Munro)


Photo #4 (Mark Lawrence, Damien Black)


Photo #5 (Mark Lawrence, Damien Black)



In the banner photo: T.o. Munro, Rita Sloan, Mark Lawrence.


Please note: your email address will be required to comment below but will NOT appear on the website!

(Alternatively you can also log in with your WordPress/Facebook/Twitter account)

Best of luck,




  1. Photo 1 caption – Maybe if i just wave at her she’ll stop pretending to have horns.

    Photo 2 caption – “Jorg must be this much shorter than the road brothers.” Mark – “There you go, you’ve got it.”

    Photo 3 caption – grumbles “I’m just going to tear her face off and let her feel the pain of the briar bush.”

    Photo 4 caption – “Heres my best impersonation of Jorg finding the Colt.”

    Photo 5 caption – In response to is it hard to write such an asshole character like Jorg? “NAH, I would say Jorg is an extension of who I wish I was. Who doesnt want to rip a heart out from time to time?”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. #1 “But the horns were onlyTHIS big! See?! No harm no foul!”
    #2 “Size doesn’t matter, you know that! No more drunk-dialing demons without a thaumaturgic circle!” (Mark)


  3. I sort of made it an entire narrative ^^

    Laura: “But what if Nona had flaw-HORNS?!”
    Mark: “…”

    Laura: “I mean she’s only like this tall, so having her “weapons” on top of her head would make a lot of sense”
    Mark: “I am not going to discuss this with you again!”

    Mark: “It’s claws! Like this!”
    Background guy *thinking bubble*: “I don’t know, maybe the horns could work..”
    T.O.: *thinking bubble*: “Here he goes again with the demonstrations..”

    Damien: “So what you are saying is that she is Wolverine?”
    Mark: “No. Just because she is ferocious, has superhuman reflexes and basically has retractable indestructible claws..”

    Mark: “Okay I guess she is Wolverine..”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 1. I’m serious his horns were this big!
    2. If I had an imagination like yours is eerie a book.
    3. Look, It’s Mum!
    4. Hey did she tell you about the horns?
    5. I don’t know about the horns but his dagger was about this long.


  5. 1. Laura: You know, a bull. A huge animal with horns, like this.
    2. Mark: So what did you say, how big that bull was? Laura: About this tall.
    3. Mark: And did it have, like, claws? T.O. Munro: What the hell does he talk about? Bulls and claws? I might use that in my next book…
    4. Mark: See, this is how you should pose for a badass book cover, helding 2 weapons, crossing your arms before you. Damien: I should take notes of this…
    5. Mark: This is also a good pose, if you have a priest/someone praising a god. Pretend like you are helding two oranges. Or breasts. Damien: This guy is a genius.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Photo 1 caption – Better the… Devil you know?

    Photo 2 caption – No wait… you’re not the devil?

    Photo 3 caption – I know your name tag says “The devil” but your beard says ‘GrimDark Fan’

    Photo 4 caption – I’m not saying you ARE the devil, but you’re pushing the whole apple thing a lot…

    Photo 5 caption – Haha! I totally knew you were the Devil this whole time… so about that deal we were making. I was thinking at least eight more best selling trilogies…


  7. Photo 1:

    Laura: Don’t you think I’d make a great character in your next book? At least I won’t be like Jorg…

    Mark: ….The fuck you say?

    Photo 2:

    Mark: I’ll have you know Laura that Jorg is a fluffy little bunny, and how dare you go on Goodreads to complain about him!

    Photo 3:

    Mark: That’s it Munro, smile and nod along. This is going to be your face next.

    Photo 4:

    Mark: Damien, this is your last warning. Hand over your beer before I get….angry.

    Photo 5:

    Mark: You think I’m joking? See this? These are your testicles. And when my hands go like this….JUST GIVE ME THE BEER!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 1. “And then, I come at you, I charge, like this, going neeee! You see? That is what I do.”

    2. “Knock it off, Hughes. I’m on to you. If you think you can muscle in on my business you’re wrong. Dead wrong. Sleeping with this fishies wrong.”

    3. “Rawr! Enough! Sleeping palm tears off the face! Oh, hi T.O. Munro, how’s tricks?”

    4. “Yeah, that’s how we used to roll, back on the mean streats of Slough. If you didn’t make the right gang sign, like this, they’d slit your nose with a shoe horn. Try it. No, seriously. Make the gang sign. I’ve got a shoe horn in my pocket. I’m waiting.”

    5. “Hahaha, I love peace, you know? I love – like, happy happy! Not like I’d kill a guy for not smiling, right? Hahaha.”

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I did try and post this a second ago, but then crashed so unsure whether worked. If it did, sorry for posting twice:

    Photo 3: When T. O. and Laura agreed to a face swap photo, they hadn’t quite anticipated Mark’s unorthodox, violent, and, ultimately, fatal method of managing this when it turned out his phone lacked the requisite technology.


  10. 1. That Horns Guy
    2. Mark: “you are impressed, aren’t you?”
    Laura “totally slayed”
    3. Man on the table thinking “these writers … they behave like teenagers”
    4. “you cant beat Jorg in fair fight…”
    5. “ … but I can, ’cause I know aaall his weakness”


  11. 4. Next time you may want to tie your neckerchief in a half Windsor knot, but there’s a tricky part where you have to loop one of the ends under like so.


  12. 1. So I’m in Nairobi and I hear about this giraffe who’s a Mark Lawrence fan. No, I’m not kidding! You know, long necks, spots, horns and all. Who knew?

    2. Finger poke to the tip of your nose!

    Dammit, blocked! You are powerful for one with glasses!

    3. You find my tigerclaw strike amusing?!? Still funny when I crush the long-haired one’s skull?!?

    4. No, seriously, I can block any strike from this stance as long as I stay focu- hey, is that scarf silk?


  13. 1 – “No, not boat. I said I was on a goat! You know…”

    2 – “Isn’t that a goat over there?” “Well I’m not doing it again!”

    3 – T.O. – “Just smile and nod… and hope I’m not next.”

    4 – “And this is how I’d hold my guns. IF I HAD SOME.”

    5 – “And then I thought “What if the science caused the magic?””


  14. Photo 1: “if you had ears like this you’d look like an elf…”
    Photo 2: LH-“eh Mark, my face is up here”
    ML: “ah yes, there it is…”
    Photo 3:MH- “Yes, well I write so much my hands have evolved into pure typing appendages….”
    Photo 4: MH- “Hold up a sec, you wrap it round your neck 4 times, interesting..”
    Photo 5: MH- “and she said, my face is up here…hahaha”

    No offence intended, just jokes


  15. Photo #1: “I thought you said, Prince of Horns! You know, like…”

    Photo #4: Mark was precisely half-way through the captivating tale of his rise to fame when the cardboard cut-out of T.O. toppled over.

    Photo #5: “So I told them: listen, I’m flattered, but maybe you could let someone else win one of these… what are they called, ‘Stabbies’? I can only carry so many, and they’re bloody sharp!”


  16. Photo 4
    “So, hear me out with this! Invisible Guns….whaddya think?? We control the populace, make them do as we please, then drink beer in well-lit establishments….

    Photo 5
    “….errr, I’m actually a policeman”

    “Well, I’m actually just kidding there….you know, just weighing things up….ha…ya know…… kidding……author joke”


  17. Photo #1: Mark: “What are you doing?”
    Laura: “I’m doing a flying ant mating dance.”
    Mark: “Cool.”

    Photo #4: Mark: “Wakanda forever!”


  18. 1 – tfw you realize the exorcism failed

    2 Laura: Okay, we need to ask you to use your inside voice.

    3 – man at center table: “Yes, Mark. Do it. KILL THEM. Kill. Them. ALL.”

    4 – when you have to ask for directions to navigate a small room

    5 – tfw you have no idea what the drunk man is saying but you’re too intimidated to just walk away


  19. Photo 2. Mark: You want to nibble my finger? Sounds a little weird Laura, but ok, just be gentle.

    Photo 3. Mark: WHAT THE HELL LAURA?! You said you only wanted to nibble ONE finger!

    Photo 4. Damien: Hahaha! Did you see Jeremy Corbyn flossing at the Pride of Britain awards last week? That was the worst floss EVER!

    Mark: Hold my beer…


  20. #1. Laura: How do I look?
    Mark: …. absolutely horn ting.

    #2. Laura: Is your hairline…..
    Mark: Watch whatcha saying lady

    #3. How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

    #4. I am a nice person just don’t push my buttons.

    #5. Today the editor called, asking hows the writing going. Lol


  21. I ask for your forgiveness in advance.

    1. Awkward Author Meet-and-Greet #307: A famous author approaches right when you accidentally superglue your fingers to your head.

    2. Mark: Jorg, Jorg, baby…dun dun duh duh dun duh duh dun dun
    Laura: Alright, stop!

    3. Man in the chair: I’m going to appear in a photo caption contest, aren’t I?

    4. How NOT to dance the Macarena.

    5. Damien: Haha…you’re not really funny…I want to strangle you with my neckerchief…


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